who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
