my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
