My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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