if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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