Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
