So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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