wrigley field is MILF paradise
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
