Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
