discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
