can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
love makes seman taste better
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
