highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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