he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
