Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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