I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
