I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
