i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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