I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
