At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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