So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
