I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
vagina is talking i cant
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How naked do you want me to be?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
