So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
