Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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