i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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