god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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