I want to stick my p in your. b.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
