turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
