So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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