Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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