bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
