Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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