Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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