38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
