I want to have your abortion
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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