ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
