I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
