do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
