Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
