i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
