the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
