im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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