I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
