The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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