my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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