This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
