We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
