I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
