i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
