JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
