So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
