It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
