I like my sex mixed with concussions.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
