i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
