there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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