She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
