Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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